I think that intentions are really important. I know I slip up quite often when it comes to what the intention is behind whatever I choose to do. This usually happens when I get into a self-loathing, depressed, materialistically consumed state of mind. I can’t help when I get this way. It’s something that is bound to happen when you’re recovering from trauma, completely isolated, and going through a financial struggle.
But when we drag other people down with us, it can make it that much more detrimental. And I’m not talking about when you’re expressing your “negative” feelings out into the open or anything like that. I’m talking about when we only offer to help people for very selfish reasons and/or out of fear. It’s even worse when we tell ourselves we’re doing it from the heart, but really we’re only doing it for ourselves.
Yes, it’s true that we’re all connected and that helping ourselves does help others on some level, but you know what I mean by this. We may tell ourselves we’re lending a helping hand because we care, but really we’re doing it because it benefits us in some way. We’re not supposed to give just because we want to receive something in return. But this is the way many people go about things, including myself. We will do it as some sort of exchange. But we end up rarely giving from a genuine place.
The reason I believe this happens is because it’s difficult to have pure intentions when you’re detached from love. When we are in a low-vibrational state it causes everything we put out into the universe to be muddled. I find that most people stay in this state most of the time. As long as we’re fighting to survive, focused too much on the material world, and letting distractions get the best of us then we won’t have the best intentions. This also happens when we’re not really doing what we’re passionate about, getting caught up in jobs we hate, and living lives that we don’t really want to live. But when we feel safe, secure, and truly aligned with our purpose that’s when our intentions are more pure and come from a more loving place.
It hurts when you figure out that someone you thought cared about you was really only helping you because they wanted to help themselves. It especially hurts when you’re already in a very vulnerable state and have trouble trusting people. Imagine. You’re about to be homeless and someone offers you a place to stay in a different part of the country. They don’t offer you the place out of the goodness of their heart but they act like that’s why they’re doing it. You know they expect something from you. And you know if you’re not able to give it to them, they’ll end up just kicking you out on the streets.
This is a perfect example about how someone can act as if they’re helping you but then they end up actually making your situation even worse than it was to begin with because they were only using you to meet their own needs. If they would’ve made things clear from the start, you wouldn’t have taken the risk to go live with them. But because they had these intentions but weren’t up front about them, you’re now in a whole new city, where you don’t know anyone else but them, disabled, with no where to go. It was already bad enough you were going to be homeless, but at least if you would’ve stayed where you were already at, you would’ve been somewhere where you knew more people and may have had a better chance at making it. Now you’re stranded and don’t have the financial means to get back to where you were before.
This is where not understanding our true intentions can be dangerous. The person who offered the place to stay may have not been consciously aware of what their intentions really were. They ended up figuring it out when it was way too late. And now the person they thought they were trying to help is even worse off. The person who wasn’t in touch with their true intentions still didn’t get those expectations and/or needs of their own met. So it ends up being a complete and utter disaster for both parties. This is why I can’t stress it enough how important it’s to be clear about your intentions, not just to other people, but especially to yourself.
Written by : Serenity