I think this positive spiritual bullshit can help sometimes.
But other times it feels like a slap in the face.
To be expected to do things that go way beyond your limits.
That’s a really fucked up burden to put on anyone.
But especially someone that is going through what you can’t even fathom.
I really believe that was part of the plan all along.
For us to realize that there is truth to creating your own reality.
Only for it to be used against us.
It’s one thing if it’s empowering you.
But it’s another thing when it destroys you.
And the very little self-confidence that you had to begin with.
You think that you’ve finally found the solution.
That you’re finally in control.
Until one day you realize.
You’re fucking not.
Maybe to some extent you are.
But it’s not enough.
And then you feel as if you’re not enough.
They put you through trauma before you are even born.
They got to your mother first and then you came along.
The little dissociative innocent baby that they knew dwelled inside of her.
They made sure to make her as sick as possible while she was pregnant.
So you could know trauma before you ever even opened your eyes to this shit world.
You’re abused in the most sadistic ways in childhood.
And then the abuse just continues on and on.
You are a government experiment.
You are someone else’s property.
They made it clear you were no longer a person.
They made it clear that you were no longer human.
They make you think you’re out of the clear.
That you’re finally healing.
That you finally see the truth.
But really they are still abusing you.
They target you everyday.
In ways that make you appear crazy.
Because they are so covert.
You become invisible.
No one can hear you.
You are alone.
You have no friends.
You never really did in the first place.
The only difference now is that you can see past the illusion.
You are homeless.
You barely get any sleep.
You’re lucky that you can even get food.
And they slowly kill you.
But they make you feel like you’re doing it to yourself.
And that’s the worst part.
Written by : Violet