Create Your Own Reality – Bite Me (Violet)

I think this positive spiritual bullshit can help sometimes.

But other times it feels like a slap in the face.

To be expected to do things that go way beyond your limits.

That’s a really fucked up burden to put on anyone.

But especially someone that is going through what you can’t even fathom.

 

I really believe that was part of the plan all along.

For us to realize that there is truth to creating your own reality.

Only for it to be used against us.

 

It’s one thing if it’s empowering you.

But it’s another thing when it destroys you.

And the very little self-confidence that you had to begin with.

 

You think that you’ve finally found the solution.

That you’re finally in control.

Until one day you realize.

You’re fucking not.

 

Maybe to some extent you are.

But it’s not enough.

And then you feel as if you’re not enough.

 

They put you through trauma before you are even born.

They got to your mother first and then you came along.

The little dissociative innocent baby that they knew dwelled inside of her.

They made sure to make her as sick as possible while she was pregnant.

So you could know trauma before you ever even opened your eyes to this shit world.

You’re abused in the most sadistic ways in childhood.

And then the abuse just continues on and on.

 

You are a government experiment.

You are someone else’s property.

They made it clear you were no longer a person.

They made it clear that you were no longer human.

 

They make you think you’re out of the clear.

That you’re finally healing.

That you finally see the truth.

 

But really they are still abusing you.

They target you everyday.

In ways that make you appear crazy.

Because they are so covert.

 

You become invisible.

No one can hear you.

You are alone.

You have no friends.

No family.

You never really did in the first place.

The only difference now is that you can see past the illusion.

 

You are homeless.

You barely get any sleep.

You’re lucky that you can even get food.

And they slowly kill you.

But they make you feel like you’re doing it to yourself.

And that’s the worst part.

 

Written by : Violet

 

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Multiplicity – Do You See Us? (Ashley)

Black Lives Matter.

I see this written everywhere. I understand why it’s so important to people now. I used to not see the point of only talking about one group of people, because I felt like it was excluding everyone else. I felt like it just added onto the division that is already so apparent in our society. But now I see that sometimes you have to put the focus on one group of individuals because the division already exists.

It’s really sad that certain races do get treated differently than others. There’s so many stereotypes that have become extremely harmful, and have lead to so many deaths of innocent people.

But when I see this I can’t help but to think about myself and others like me. This may seem like it’s selfish, but I think about how many lives have been stolen when it comes to people that are multiple and no one even bats an eye. They don’t even really know how many people like us exist and still believe that being multiple is rare when it actually isn’t.

It’s believed that people who are labeled with Dissociative Identity Disorder alone make up 1% of the population at the very least. It’s actually underdiagnosed and there’s so much controversy around it where people still don’t even believe multiplicity even exists.

So can you imagine how many of us suffer in silence not even aware of our multiplicity and/or are aware but have to hide it because of the way it’s viewed in this society? Do you have any idea how many of us have probably committed suicide over the years because of the lack of research, compassion, and understanding of our multiplicity?

Not only that but we are made to look like we are crazy psycho killers in the media so it makes people not even want to pay attention to us. Many of us have had such traumatic lives and never get the love and support we so desperately need. We have to stay so quiet and hidden that we can’t even fight for our own rights. We are also the ones that are put into programs like Project Monarch, tortured, and experimented on until we are sent to our deaths through being targeted and covertly harassed until we off ourselves.

So I ask myself this question…Do the lives of those who are multiple really matter to people? Because it certainly doesn’t seem like it. We don’t get any coverage when it comes to the truth of what’s actually happening to us. The truth is that most of us are victims of the corrupt who are in power, the same people that are being treated like gods, yet no one even notices. People see our multiplicity as something to be afraid of instead of something that should be accepted and that kills us inside everyday until we do finally kick the bucket for good.

Just because we are a minority doesn’t mean that our lives don’t matter. But you don’t see anyone speaking up for us. You don’t see protests going on to protect those who are multiple. Because no one gives a flying fuck. So yeah it hurts. It hurts when I see things like Black Lives Matter but never anything about how Multiplicity lives matter. We are just left in the dark, and no one ever comes looking for us.

But I’m tired of waiting and that’s why I’m speaking out. You may think I’m disrespecting Black Lives Matter by writing this post. But this is my truth. This is how I feel. Someone has to say something when no one else will.

 

Written by : Ashley

Mind-Control – Stimuli

When you’re a targeted individual you are constantly harassed by different stimuli. Most people wouldn’t believe that you’re being mind-controlled by the repetition of something such as colors and numbers. This makes it a perfect way to get inside of your head and make you feel like if you told anyone then you’d be seen as crazy. The people doing this to you can’t legally get in trouble for doing this kind of thing , not only because you can’t really prove it as being harassment but because there are authorities who are in on it as well. How are you supposed to get any kind of justice when the people in power make it pretty much impossible to do so? If you go talk to a medical professional about what you’re experiencing, they will just label you as a paranoid schizophrenic.

This is a very slick covert way to control someone’s thoughts, feelings, and behavior without ever getting reprimanded for it. They do this to make it so the person they’re targeting will focus on whatever stimuli they decide to throw in front of them. They do this in repetition because repetition is a way to program the mind. So even if the victim is focusing on something else, they will always be drawn right back to the stimuli if it’s nearby. They don’t have to visually see it at first in order for their mind to be forced to pay attention to it because the mind will automatically know it’s there because it has been trained to do so. You could be reading a book, and no matter how hard you’ll try to stay focused on the pages, you’ll still look up at the red car that’s passing by if that’s the stimuli they’ve used on you over and over again. You could even have your eyes completely closed, and you will open them up when the stimuli is there and be forced to look at it. It’s an absolutely sick and twisted way to mess with a person’s mind and drive them absolutely insane. You will feel a total lack of control over yourself, and will even become paranoid that everyone is in it on it. Because after awhile it will seem that way. But not everyone who’s in a red car is purposely trying to mind-control you. They just might happen to have a red car, but now that you’ve been forced into looking at the stimuli so many times, your brain is tricked into focusing in on it.

This is the kind of torture that can make anyone go mad and the people around them won’t understand what the big deal is because they’re not going through it themselves. You can try to explain yourself but it will just make you sound even more off your rocker the more you try to. These people get pleasure out of making you their little bitch and then watching you suffer because of it. They love being able to control your thoughts so that you’ll think about what they’re doing to you all day long. They love to be able to control your feelings so they can get you on the edge of your seat. They love to be able to make you do things you wouldn’t normally do by using the stimuli they constantly shove into your face. Then you may start assigning meaning to the stimuli, especially if you’re not aware of what’s happening to you and why it follows you around everywhere you go. You may begin to think that this is some kind of spiritual or supernatural occurrence. You may even turn it into something positive but little do you know the stimuli that’s stalking to you isn’t some angelic presence but instead it’s the government playing mind-games with you. If you can shape a person’s belief structure based off the stimuli then it’s game on for these people. Once they got you hooked, the stimuli will be almost like an addiction. It can make it so when you try to withdraw from it, you get uncomfortable that it’s not your point of focus because the mind loves routine, and if routine gets thrown off balance it can bring up negative emotions. You can try to resist the stimuli, but sometimes it just makes it worse because when you resist something, it can make it just make it have an even stronger pull on you. It will feel like there’s no escape. It’s meant to break you down, but you can’t let it. You have to get up everyday and keep staying strong for your own sanity and peace of mind. You have to try to live your life according to how you want to live it even when the stimuli just won’t seem to leave you alone. This is not an easy task, but it’s the only way or else you’re just going to end up completely miserable, and then these people get exactly what they want out of doing this to you.

My heart goes out to anyone going through this. As a Monarch Survivor they’ve been brainwashing me my entire life. I was tortured, experimented on, ritually abused, traumatized and made to feel like I was nothing. I don’t know how I’m still alive, but I’m here and trying to make the most of it. I try to find my own individual tools to help me along the way on my journey. They only help so much though, and it doesn’t ever make it go away. But I’ve gotten this far, and I’m not going to give up now. I’m not going to give them the satisfaction. May we find peace in our hearts and our minds. We can make a difference with what we’ve been through. It’s up to us to figure out how to turn all these negative things into something positive that will be beneficial to the whole planet and everyone on it. But it’s good not to forget to take care of ourselves first and foremost. There’s a quote that I read the other day that stated…”If one raises the leg of a table the top of the table will be raised; the man who perfects himself helps all humanity, since all life is interdependent.” We can help others by helping ourselves. I believe in each and every one of you, just as I’m trying to believe in myself. We can get through this, I know we can. We must stand together, and not let them divide us. When we come together in unity, accepting each other for our differences, anything is possible.

 

Written by : Serenity